I had been feeling a little “off” this past weekend. I kept thinking to myself I need to get more time in for self care all week and stuck to it. I did gentle yoga, self study, yoga nidra (a lot!), spiritual study, more yoga nidra, more study…. but something wasn’t clicking. Then today, I hit the mat, HARD. As in not gentle, not mindful, as in get the f**k outta my head work until I drop.
This was the answer. I cannot be all gentle and mindful all of the time. I can be cerebral and spiritual and mindful but sometimes I need to be hard core taking control of my body and letting some shit go. Sometimes there are issues trapped deep within our muscles and the only way to release them is to get out of your head and exhaust yourself.
This reminds me to have more respect for all the different kinds of physical fitness. Sometimes, running until your body is a little broken is what saves someone from a disastrous ending when suffering from mental illness. Sometimes throwing large heavy things around, even if it might not be good for your back, helps you feel powerful and in control of your own body. Sometimes the physical thing you are doing doesn’t have to meet perfect anatomy standards, sometimes you have to push a little to far to be able to return to comfort in your own skin.
BEE authentically you peeps. Even if that means sometimes you are loud and crazy. “You don’t have to explain your brand of cuckoo to anyone!”.
-shellyQ